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sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

green-satan:

milkybabie:

I was in love with this boy once so I started to beat him up everyday but people thought we were rough housing bc boys can’t like each other and one day I was like “dude I like you a lot but I can’t cope with my feelings so I beat you up im sorry” and he was like “dude that’s really chill we can hold hands if you want??? Btw you have really good punches.” And that’s the story of how I had my first boyfriend

that was wild from start to finish

whitebeyonce:

the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up

timelordangel:

we’ve all got that weird pretty big secret that we don’t really hide but like we don’t flaunt it like “My brother died of cancer” or “I’m gay” or “I tried to kill myself last year” or anything really and when you find out somebody’s big plot twist you know you’re in this friendship for the long run